Daily Diary, a Logbook about myself and what I do daily.

Alright, so if you haven't read my introduction, here it is:
Hello there, I'm tornadofan2.
I'm a girl, 13 years old and live in the Netherlands. I'm a quiet and shy girl who loves to be alone and reads books most of the time. Especially Harry Potter, or books about nature and animals. My favourite animal is the Wolf.
I live the most in my own world, I know it sounds a bit weird. Whenever I close my eyes, I'm back in my own world. Wolves roaming around and playing pups. I have much fantasy, imagination and love to write stories. I love to be in nature, and I can hear the whispering of the trees. It's an ancient language, but I discovered what they say. I know it sounds weird, one word to describe me is 'weird'. I love to makes pictures of nature, and know much about plants and animals.
I have an imagination friend, it's a wolf wich I totally love and she is always with me. She is big, almost twice as big as a normal wolf. She is all pink, and skin over bones. She has a rat tail, with three grey spikes on the end. She has long nails on her paws, and big sharp teeth. She has piercing yellow eyes, really bright and ram/demon horns on her head that are grey also. She has a grey(ish)/white bandage around her muzzle, and speaks without opening her mouth. She has two spikes on each elbow, and she has four elbows because she has four legs. The spikes on her elbows are grey to. She always gives me advise when I need it, and is always with me.
That's a little about me.
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1 Februari, 2012

Today, like a few days already, I haven't slept, no single hour. I took a shower in the morning, hoping it would help me relax and make me tired, normally it would work. It calmed me down, but it didn't make me tired. I tried sleepingpill, nothing. Good start of the year XD. So I got down stairs, and found out my little brother was already on the computer, so lazily layd down on the couch, my imagination wolf layd down next to me, almost puhsing me off the couch. I hoped to fall asleep, but it was a failed attemp. After a few hours, I asked if I could go on the computer, but my brother said no so I kicked him off. And so I got on the computer, not doing anything else that day. I ate some bread, an icescream and now I'm on. That was one day of my life. See ya tomorrow!
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2 Februari 2012

Today, I had some hope to sleep cause I was feeling really tired, apperently it was false hope cause I didn't sleep. I sneaked up my phone and got back onto CS, like always. I had drawn a fish wich epically failed, and asked my brother when he would join. 'Soon'. Was his answer. I didn't eat that morning, or that afternoon, only at night. I ate spareribs, pretty dry and not really tasty. So then I took some bread and got back on the computer after a hour of rest cause my brother kicked me off. So I sneaked back onto my phone and some later back onto the computer. Harry Potter was on, and so I started watching it, whilst being on the computer. My imagination wolf sitting next to me on the chair and licking my face, like always. It was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by the way . I love Harry Potter. Once again, I stayed on the computer till late.

Fascinating... XD

My life is nie, quite and boring

Hmm... I can't really keep it up...

So, today I got to school, not that I wanted to. We had some workshops wich was quite fun but some were boring too. I didn't want to go to school becuase of yesterday. I just sat somewhere quiet alone because I am that kind of someone that wants to be alone and doesn't need social contact. So, some boys came to me and asked me what was wrong, responded with just to leave me alone. Then the boys came back and asked if I wanted to curse them, flipped and and runned after them. Pinned one against the ground and almost killed him if I hadn't calmed myself down. Then ended up crying and trapped in a corner whilst boys were saying that I was the Devil or a child of the Devil. Normally I could laugh with that but I had been depressed lately. We talked it out with a teacher but I still don't really understand them. I guess I will never either. I feel like eating all day, but eating nothing at the same time. I have been depressed lately. Had my birthday a few days ago, February 11th it was, turned 14 years old. I am writing my feelings down, not in a diary but in a kind of book. It makes me feel better but I won't talk to anyone about my feelings. I ahve noticed my vision is worse or is getting worse and sometimes I see things double. That causes alot of confusion. I walk against walls and doors and people start laughing, ofcourse they do. I laugh myself too, so it doesn't really matter to much. I had a fun day though but now I'm depressed again. Well, gonne search something to get myself out of the depression..

So, today was pretty fun and relaxing. Had the first 3 hours free from school and so had only 4 lessons. We watced 2 movies with 2 lessons and the other 2 lessons we didn't do much either. Though, feel a bit bad today. Had a bad mark by maths, the one of so many bad marks. Had a kind of notebook with me so I could write my feelings in it, made feel a bit better but not much. Bursts out in tears in a lesson and cried for the whole lesson. Talked with a teacher about why I cried but I couldn't really find a reason for it. I just feel like I don't exist and that I'm not supposed to exist. The teacher made me feel better slightly, he is kind you know. He is the only teacher that really ever cares for me at all. After school I got home, put my phone on and got onto internet to relax. I'm not really intrested in doing my homework and probably will do that some time later. I hugged my dog, a jack russel terrier named Scruffie for quite a long time when I got home. I love Scruffie, without that dog I would be even more sad and miserable. Well, quite a good day today though.